Celebrities I've Met: Eva Mendez

One day I was wandering around the city and found my way towards the Meatpacking District. Any New Yorker know anytime you see a series of Haddad trucks they're filming either a movie or television show. Making my way back around the block I saw two women exiting the trailers. I asked one of them do you know whats going on around here? Whatever answer she gave me wasn't important. Even though she had shades I was able to make out her other facial features and conclude "Hey you're EVA.." (I was about to say Longoria but knew that was the girl from Desperate Housewives). She took a sharp turn across 14th Street. The only thing I could get out of my mouth was "You're famous". In an accent she said "No I'm not, I wish I was famous". Later on a crew member informed me that Eva Mendez was indeed in the set that day. The movie is titled "Last Night" starring Keira Knightley.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1294688/

James Ingram - I Don't Have The Heart [HQ]

Joke from an old timer

Jack and Jill went up the hill to eat a little candy. Jack got a shock, Jill got a cock, her name was really Randy

He looks like a kid I would kiss and fuck in the ass

Waffles and Tits

DSC_4382
Originally uploaded by sabotai

The party will be in Bushwick following the Gay Pride Parade. If it wasn't for the $10 cover I'd seriously consider it.

I cum so hard I begin hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. Slowly, I pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. I laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

I approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. I extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. But suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

The fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. One thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. I try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. I inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. I hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. I will never be the same. I am forever a shit faggot.

>Actualy making drugs illegal does decrease those who use it.

Ok, lets see your reasoning...

>Some kids wont do it because they don't want to break the law and get cought, where as if it was legal they'd do it.

Because there aren't such things as age limits... oh wait!

>Some people aren't retarded and don't want to go to jail.
>Take control of people's freedoms to get them to do what we want.

You're either trolling or incredibly stupid.

Cake makes me happy. Must be drugs.

In favor of legalizing marijuana

They'd make WAY more money from NOT spending money on keeping people in jail, I heard it can cost tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands to keep a person in jail. And if they taxed marijuana instead of it being illegal, they'd make heaps of cash. It makes financial sense, it makes moral sense, it just makes fucking sense.What the fuck are you doing America, make this shit legal already!

Misery loves company

I'm living with my mother and failing my second attempt at UniversityI'm 27, fat, broke, friendless and my antidepressant medication makes me feel nauseous all the time

Who said a pusherman didn't have benefits?

fuck you, you fucking bitch. you said you would love me forever. we have one stupid fight, we break up and then you IMMEDIATELY start fucking my dealer? Wow. That's low. even for you. go play in traffic, you fucking douche canoe. I'm better without you anyways. It hurts, but you wouldn't know about that sort of thing since you have no soul or heart. Nevertheless, I hope you find your "prince charming" and you have a happy life. I just want you to be happy.

What I want to tell my therapist (also copypasta from /b/)

A year ago I was pure nerd and nihilist. The only person I cared was me but then I met you. Immediately I found you very nice girl, but seriously got interested in you about half a year ago. You are the first girl in my life I really love. You are perfect I love the way you wear, move, smile, laugh, panic, cry and look. No one except my parents had such influence on me. You make me a better man even though you are not aware of it. I changed my life for the better becouse of you.

Copypasta from /b/

im very attracted to your body but your personality lacks at times im not that interested in your day-camp work because i cant stand children the fact that your friends and family are french annoys and disgusts me even tho you r bilingual im happy hanging out with you until u start talking about things that dont matter to me ... if an opportunity to cheat on u came up i might be inclined to take it. I dont understand why im so fucked up that even tho i like and really care about and my family likes u for some reason i dont think ill ever love u. we havent had good sex in like 3 weeks and im getting annoyed. It might be a better idea if we just break up for the summer and then maybe see where were at for when school starts again.

Black Man's Kryptonite

I think it was Malcolm X who said it best, "...because so many of our sisters have been raped and violated by the white man, the black man couldn't wait to get their hands on the white's man prize: the white woman."

You are sexually attracted to your sister and hate yourself for it. This really isn't hard.

I want to kill every single bitch that ever rejected me...I want to cause them as much pain as they caused me

...eighteen? Seriously? The solution is simple - WAIT. High school girls are absolute fucking cunts. You'll probably find girls you actually like in a few years, who won't mindfuck you or reject you or expect you to cater to their every whim. Not every girl is a skank, gold-digger, vapid slut, or judgmental and arrogant whore. But about 99% of girls under 18 are gonna act that way.

Around 22-29 you'll probably be able to find women who will treat you like an EQUAL and who will actually be FUN to be around. They exist. I promise from first-hand experience. All you have to do is be patient.

The girls who rejected you only did so because they knew you were gay, even if you never realized it yet.

Sometimes it feel like the inability to support myself makes me less of a human being

Cage is an amazing actor when he is not doing shit movies to pay off his gambling debts.

Drug post on /b/

Triple Cs(First drug, meh)
Alcohol(what just happened?)
Weed(my dad gives it to me everyday)
MDMA(not enough to get high)
Salvia(sucked)
Shrooms(awesome)
Coke(waste of money)
Heroin(waste of time)

Courage Wolf

Hydrocodone

Hydrocodone is a pain medication. It is not meant to get you high. I am wondering if you are just looking to get high is the reason you ask this. If you were taking the medication the way it is suppose to be taken, to help with pain, then why would you be concerned about the effects of getting "high" on it? One thing is for sure! It is a highly ADDICTIVE drug and I can tell you from experience that you DO NOT want to get hooked on those pills!! You will live a life of addiction and misery if you do. When you don't have them you will be so sick that you will wish you would just die. Don't take these pills to get high. It doesn't take much of them at all to get addicted and with your concern of getting "high" it sounds as if you would become addicted very quickly! They are meant to be taken as prescribed and that's it. When that is done..then that should mean you should be done with the medication. BE CAREFUL! Your messing with something you may not be able to handle!

Reply to a post I made on be-mag

heres some real shit..

So i was with my x-girlfriend for three years. one night she decided to lie to me and say she was staying home cause she had to work early the next day. I woke up and called her work to see if she really was there and it turned out she wasnt even supposed to work that day. I called her 10 times til she answered, told her to fuck off. A couple weeks go by and she comes running back saying she loves me and she didnt know what she was thinking, blah blah blah. I told her we could try to make it work if she told me everything. She tells me she started seeing this tall, skinny, nerdy looking cocaine dealer and she knew she had a problem with cocaine (after only 3 weeks) and asked if i could be there for her while she tried to recover. I took her to rehab, paid about $600 worth of bills for her for the past month because her and that faggot were staying at hotels getting shit faced on cocaine then bangin it out for weekends at a time (she didnt tell me that, i found out on my own). All she did was sleep, she would sleep for days on end and i would just chill and wait to see if there was anything she needed. 2 weeks go by and everything seemed ok until one day she came out of my bathroom with white shit under her nose. I didnt say shit, so then we were driving to go eat and she says "I havent done that shit for 2 weeks now and i feel great" im like "Theres still coke under your nose from snorting it in my fucking bathroom you lying, bitch". I still stayed with her tried to help her but she just couldnt quit, nothing worked. One day she comes to my work and says she has to run to the city to grab some of her sisters stuff at her apartment. It sounded shady as hell because she kept saying ill call you every hour, blah blah blah. I dont hear from her til around 10 o clock and i can tell she isnt home but she says she's home and tired and going to bed. I call her back 5 times till she answers and i can hear shes driving somewhere but she continues to lie and say shes home. The next day she says I cant trust her and if I cant then this isnt going to work. Im like "fuck that shit, youre a fucking coke whore and i want nothing to do with you faggot!"
Its been about a month since I last talked to her but my friend saw her at a party with the coke peddling faggot and said she must have lost 20 pounds (she was only like 115 to begin with). My friend said she looked haggard and like a fucking wreck and the dude was a faggot and I should come out and kick his ass. I was in Orlando with some other girl at the time so there was no way i could do that.

conclusion..
I fucked 3 different chicks in the last month and all but one were hotter then my x. shes still a coke whore and just recently tried to do the same shit and get me back again but this time it aint happening.
FUCK COCAINE AND FUCKE COCAINE SLUTS

copypasta from /b/

So /b/ check this out

I was chillin in my room minding my own business. You know, Watching poker on one TV and playing some DoTA. This was like, 10 minutes ago. So my roommates not home, and out of nowhere I get the urge to spank it. So I'm like "Fuck, what am I in the mood for?". Heres where it gets sad.... I get the random thought "That lady gaga chick is decent looking in some of her videos, and shes like basically talking about suckin dicks in all of em". Now dont get me wrong, i fuckin hate this bitches music. So I choose the song Bad Romance on YouTube since she doesnt look like some fucking alien in that one. I start to spank it when I hear my roommate come home and head for more door. Only time to either close the browser, or zip. I choose zip of course. He comes in and says these exact words, no lie at all. "SUP BITCH--- Aww dude are you listening to lady gaga? God DAMN thats gay, I would've had more respect for you if you were spanking it like a man. Fucking queer". Don't make the same mistake /b/

tl:dr listening to lady gaga is worse then getting caught masturbating.

Wanda Moore is one of the reasons why I chose to return the world of Female Bodybuilding. Meeting her at the Arnold last year, I would have never have known she's into posing nude.